Lost a Friend

A friend of mine, my cyber friend, suddenly passed away by a car accident. He fell asleep…..

It is a danger you can’t prevent. You can decide not to drink, but you can’t decide not to fall asleep. Sleeping is one of our natural needs, so it comes to us sometimes unexpectedly. I myself got into this situation so many times. At those times, I stopped the car and had a short break, like to close my eyes for a while, maybe about 30 minutes or so.

Oh, my friend, why didn’t you do so? There is lots of people who needs you…..

In Japan, I have been taught that there is our last and one of most important jobs we have to do before we leave the Earth. Which is that to give the people around you to join together, share the sorrow and memories, and most importantly, to give them a chance to renew the relationships among them and make it stronger and closer.

I have also been taught that I must thank the passing person not only for that they have shared their lives with me, but also because of that they give me a chance to see other people, share my life and theirs, and most importantly, I could have a chance to renew the relationships with them and make it stronger and closer.

It is coming from Buddhism. In Buddhism, we take special ceremonies for each passing person 49 days later, a year later, 2 years later, 6 years later, 13 years later…. Even 50 years later. And, each ceremony has the same meanings. We come to see again, share the memories of passing people again, share our lives in each other again, and make the relationships among us stronger and closer again. It is described like, “to be given an opportunity to build relationships (or, connections?) in each other related to the passing person.”

So, now, it is his turn to do this work. I am sure many people would receive the result of his last work, and their relationships will  be stronger and closer every time they think of him. WE think of him.

He accepted me as his Japanese Little Sister. I never thought that he talked about me with his friends who didn’t communicate with me directly, but one of his friends said that he mentioned about me…..

Oh….. Brother, I miss you……..

Rest in Peace.

My Grandma told me very seriously,

“If you won’t be near me, I would be lonely. So, won’t marry a man who lives far away from here.”

No, Grandma, don’t be so silly.

I know she loves me so much, but it means that her happiness is more important for her than MY happiness.

I love her, of course, but every time when she said something like this, I have a feeling like I’ll never have a conversation with her about my future.

 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you because my Grandma won’t be happy without me.”

 

Oh, no, that’s impossible.

I’m not her only one family, she has lots of members of her family. Even her elder sisters are living here in Hiroshima!

 

Well, I’m wondering if a woman refuse to marry a man for this reason, how the man feel?

That means the woman care about her Grandmother more than the man.

Get angry?

Be disgusted?

Find no word to say?

Tell you your opinion, please!  

 

I know why she said such a thing.

I’m the first Grandchild for her and have been living near her. I’m the only one granddaughter who has been living in this city, and other granddaughters and her daughter have been living in the other city far away from here. She has 2 grandsons and they have been living here, but she felt that they are a little cold than us, girls.

I know, I know.

But! I was irritated with her sometimes…

 

I don’t have any plan about my marriage and it means that I will stay near her for a while.

So, let’s go, Grandma! I will support you!

At least for a while, until I have a plan to marry with someone who lives far away from here.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend write “I love you” with the flame of candles on a hotel room floor,

What would you do?

I would be absolutely embarrassed…

Fortunately, nobody did such a thing to me yet.

I hope there’s no one in the future.

And, unfortunately, it was happened to a couple and their hotel room burned.

Be careful when you try to express your love impressiveｌy.